Finding the love of your life is everyone’s dream, getting married and having kids. Though very vital to relationships, money isn’t something we think about after going on a few dates, we still have butterflies in our stomachs! I mean, have you ever heard anyone say, “When I first saw you, I knew I wanted to open a Trust fund and start saving for our future children. Investments were the first thing I thought of when my eyes met yours.” Personally, the only thing I would be thankful for is that you are a tall dude! Once the honeymoon phase is over, you realise Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome spend money like money grows on trees, and you realise you might need to open up a secret bank account if this relationship ends up with you guys getting married.
You have heard of Love Languages. Now presenting to you the financial love languages.
Financial love languages are identified by the behaviours that represent individual financial systems. What we value differs from person to person, so it's important to understand your partner's financial love language to build healthier and long-lasting relationships. Once these behaviours are understood, couples can improve communication and establish a collective financial value system.
What is your financial love language? Check out the list to know;
Are you the kind of person that wants to protect your family from financial hardships or do you save for emergencies? Whatever the case, financial security is such a big deal for you.
You like to save for a rainy day and it's important for you to feel secure, to know that whatever life throws at you be it your car breaking down or if anything in the house needs fixing you are able to protect and provide for yourself and your family.
It is important for a saver to be able to help their loved ones now and in the future. This might not seem or even sound romantic or even compete with a surprise candle-lit dinner but according to Jacent Wamala, a licensed marriage and family therapist turned money mindset coach said in a past interview with self.inc,
“Maybe it won’t translate into going on expensive dates or wanting to do extravagant financial outings. But they are saying they want to have that safety net and be prepared for when life happens.”
Imagine someone saving for a future with you. Them thinking of retiring with you and making sure nothing stands in the way of you two growing old together. Sounds like a pretty romantic thing in and of itself.
If you never get to see a lot of your better half because they are always working believe it or not but that may be their financial language of love.
With the growing inflation we are experiencing, we have to work twice as hard to provide for ourselves and our partners. Perhaps your partner grew up in a household where their folks had to work hard to cover the bills and in turn, he is doing the same. Maybe he got that side hustle so he can afford that kitchen upgrade he promised you three years ago.
According to Jacent Wamala, earning money is a love language. You want to make sure your family is taken care of and that you can provide at a basic level. Some people may perceive earning money as a financial love language because they believe that providing financial stability or material resources for their partner is a way to demonstrate love, care, and support. It can be seen as an expression of commitment and a desire to contribute to the well-being and happiness of their loved ones.
Investing has some level of risk, but someone thinking long-term might enjoy seeing their money grow over time. They are thinking ahead to what they can build long term. According to Blackenterprise, they might try their hand and invest in the stock market, education, retirement, business opportunities, or even people.
The best way to communicate with someone whose financial love language is investing is to discuss transactions or opportunities as investments. They are not interested in throwing away money, they want to talk about how to grow money. It's good to talk about where you see investments because they will understand that and will resonate with that. For instance, if you would like to attend a pricey conference next month, you could say something along the lines of “ We could do a lot of networking for our business if we invest in this Ksh30,000 conference.
We have savers and then we have spenders. Unlike savers, spenders easily part with their money. According to Investblue.com spenders are more likely to spend money on experiences and items that bring them joy. They are known to devote resources to having quality time with their partner. This can take the form of vacations or frequent dates. “This person might seem more spontaneous, impulsive, and flexible. They live in the here and now. And because they love you, they want to enjoy rich, memorable experiences with you,” says Wamala.
According to Blackenterprise, true spenders can be rebellious when they feel financially deprived or restricted and the best way to communicate with a spender is to not judge them but instead give them parameters of spending. For instance, instead of telling them, we can’t buy it and that it is not in our budget, tell them, we have Ksh5000 to spend this month.
Are you with someone who you have concluded has a philanthropist's heart? Someone who finds joy in giving. For most people, giving can be an expression of love. Someone whose financial love language is giving gives their resources, time, and money.
However, giving can also signify insecurity. When someone gives money or gifts to someone in exchange for emotional connection or to be liked for instance. The best way to communicate with a giver is to praise them for their giving spirit as Blackenterprise puts it. Usually, givers simply like to feel appreciated.
Are you the kind to worry and think of the worst-case scenarios happening to you or your family? Accidents? fires? You name it. You may have gotten life insurance or disability insurance with your family members as beneficiaries. In spite of the fact that it doesn't seem romantic, doing this might guarantee that your loved ones have adequate money in the event that the worst should happen or you pass away. Imagine the love of your life taking care of you even in death. (hopeless romantic sobs)
It’s not impossible for people with two different financial priorities to have a good relationship, it just requires communication and a bit of compromise. Whether your financial love language led you to get insurance, a joint bank accountant, or a vacation in the Maldives, understanding your other half’s financial language would go a long way in helping you work toward shared long-term financial goals. It would help in having more effective financial conversations and saves you from opening that secret bank account. When both couples appreciate and value the other's financial language, finances, like love, can be a lovely experience.
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