Why People Lie About Money

Why People Lie About Money

In Kenya, money is one of the most common sources of tension in families, friendships, and even workplaces. From downplaying debt to exaggerating income, many people bend the truth about their finances. 

On the surface, this might look like dishonesty, but psychologists say there’s more going on than meets the eye.

The Role of Shame in Financial Lies

One of the most cited explanations comes from Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor and psychologist who has extensively studied shame and vulnerability.

According to Brown, shame thrives in secrecy. When people feel they are not “enough,” they hide parts of their lives that expose that feeling — and money is a major trigger.

In Kenya, money is strongly linked to adulthood, responsibility, and respect. Struggling financially is often interpreted as personal failure. Admitting debt, unemployment, or low income can feel like admitting incompetence. To avoid this emotional pain, people distort the truth.

This is why someone may say, “Ni temporary tu,” even when the situation has lasted years. The lie becomes a shield against judgment.

Self-Deception and Cognitive Dissonance

Another explanation comes from Leon Festinger, the psychologist who developed the theory of cognitive dissonance.

Festinger argued that humans experience psychological discomfort when reality conflicts with how they see themselves. To reduce this discomfort, people don’t always change behaviour — they change the story.

If someone sees themselves as financially responsible but is drowning in debt, admitting the truth creates tension. Lying — even to oneself — restores emotional balance.

This explains why some people genuinely believe they are “almost stable” despite evidence to the contrary. It’s not always intentional dishonesty; it’s mental self-preservation.

Optimism Bias 

Psychologist Daniel Kahneman, a Nobel Prize–winning behavioural scientist, identified optimism bias — the tendency to overestimate positive future outcomes.

People often lie about money because they are convinced improvement is imminent. A deal will close. A client will pay. A promotion will come through.

In Kenya’s hustling economy, where income is irregular and hope is a survival tool, this bias is especially strong. People borrow, spend, or exaggerate income based on future expectations rather than present reality.

When asked about their finances, they report what they expect to earn, not what they have. To them, it doesn’t feel like lying — it feels like forecasting.

Social Pressure and Impression Management

Social psychologist Leonard Festinger also introduced social comparison theory, explaining that people measure success relative to others.

In Kenya, comparisons are unavoidable — among siblings, colleagues, church members, or WhatsApp groups. Seeing others progress creates pressure to appear equally successful.

This is why people exaggerate salaries, underplay financial help, or hide setbacks. Psychologists call this impression management — controlling how others perceive you to maintain status and belonging.

Social media amplifies this effect, making financial honesty even harder.

How to Navigate Money Lies in Your Life

Whether you’re the one bending the truth or the one on the receiving end, understanding the psychology behind financial deception helps you respond better:

1. Build Open Money Conversations – Encourage transparency in families and workplaces without judgment. Normalizing discussions about money reduces shame.
2. Focus on Systems, Not Secrets – For those lying about their own finances, automated savings, budgeting apps, and clear debt tracking can reduce the need to hide information.
3. Set Boundaries – If someone consistently lies about money in a relationship or business, set limits to protect your own finances and emotional wellbeing.
4. Reflect Before Reacting – Remember, lying about money often stems from fear, anxiety, or over-optimism, not malice. Detaching emotionally allows for more constructive interactions.

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