I Took a Ksh15,000 Loan to Impress My Girlfriend, It Cost Me More Than Money

Valentine’s Day has a way of magnifying expectations. The pressure to impress. The curated Instagram posts. The subtle comparisons about who went where and who bought what.

Last year, I felt that pressure more than I care to admit. I had been dating my girlfriend for about eight months. Things were going well, but deep down, I constantly felt like I was competing with invisible suitors, men with bigger cars, better jobs, and seemingly deeper pockets. 

When February approached, I decided this would be the day I proved myself. The only problem? My bank account didn’t agree with my ambitions.

By February, my January salary was already stretched thin. Rent, transport, and a few impulsive purchases had left me barely afloat. But Valentine’s was coming, and I wanted to make a statement, fancy dinner, flowers, a meaningful gift, maybe even a surprise weekend stay.

Read more: Money, Valentine’s & Me: Once Bitten, Twice Shy - A Man’s Perspective

Instead of scaling down my plans, I borrowed Ksh15,000 from two friends. I promised to repay them “very soon.”

“It’s just fifteen thousand,” I told myself. “I’ll fix it next month.”

The date was everything I imagined. Rooftop dinner. Roses. A carefully wrapped gift. She was thrilled. We took photos. She posted me. For a brief moment, I felt like I had won.

What I didn’t calculate was the cost beyond that evening.

March came quickly, with rent due. When my Ksh60,000 salary hit my account, Ksh15,000 immediately went toward repaying my friends who had begun to pressure me. That single repayment destabilised my entire budget.

Suddenly, I was cutting back on groceries. I delayed paying a utility bill. Transport became a daily mental calculation. I stopped saving completely.

I had no cushion. No emergency fund. I began to borrow small amounts from friends, this time just to survive.

Within two months, I was juggling obligations and patching holes. All because of one night.

I became irritable. Small inconveniences triggered outsized reactions. I avoided social outings because I couldn’t afford them. I felt embarrassed constantly saying, “I’m broke.”

Read more: Losing My Job, Money and Girlfriend on Valentine’s Day

The same girlfriend who had been impressed by my Valentine’s gesture started noticing the strain. She wasn’t wrong.

I was distracted. Moody. Withdrawn. Financial instability had quietly eaten into my peace. I wasn’t emotionally present anymore because I was constantly calculating how to survive the month. 

By June, she left, saying I seemed unavailable and always overwhelmed. The painful irony? The grand gesture I thought would secure the relationship had quietly helped unravel it.

Looking back, I see how easily it happened.

Financial irresponsibility rarely announces itself loudly. It disguises itself as love. As generosity. As confidence.

But when spending exceeds your capacity, the consequences linger long after the roses wilt.

Borrowing money for lifestyle expenses, especially to impress, is dangerous. Loans should solve real problems or create value. Mine financed momentary validation.

My story isn’t unique. Many of us quietly destabilise our budgets during Valentine’s, December holidays, birthdays — seasons charged with emotion and expectation.

Valentine’s Day lasts 24 hours. Financial consequences can last months.